They Were Only 18

She walks down the beach
Thinking of what she almost had but now has lost
The waves lap against her smooth skin
As the wind begins to blow

She looks out across the water
Wondering what it would have been like
To feel his arms around her tight
Sitting on the beach
Him protecting her from the wind

They were only eighteen
But they had a plan
They wanted to spend
Their whole life together
But then the war started

He had to go
They wrote letters
Til the day she got a telegram
Saying that his groups truck had been bombed
There were no survivors

They had planned
To get married on this beach
Just as the sun started to go down
With the burning reds and oranges
That would show their passion for each other

But now all she would do here
Is walk along the beach
With the water hitting her smooth skin
As the wind begins to blow her hair
Thinking of what she almost had
But now had lost.

Razor Blade

I sit hearing holding
This razor to my wrist
Crying and thinking of what I did,
What I did to deserve this...
This pain deep inside of me that's
Killing me oh so slowly

I press down on my wrist
Rock the blade back once
Then I see a drop of blood form
To run down my wrist and hit the floor

I look up to you
And I start to cry
I push down again to watch,
Two more drops form,
They run down my wrist and hit the floor

Those are the tears of my heart
For my heart cries red.
It has so many tears yet to shed
I will never be able to make it stop
So I will let its tears flow over the top

Through my wrist and to the floor
For then it will eventually stop...
All this pain deep inside me
Will start to fade
And this razor blade will drop

I wont feel a thing
Because I will go numb
And it will grown dark as I start to shake
Then it will be done
And I will be gone.


This is from when I was younger. I am now and adult and a very happy person with a special person in my life. I no longer feel this way.

A Girls Best Friend

Her best friend...
The one she was supposed to be able to trust for life
That she could depend on and would never hurt her
Just hurt her bad
Her life was ruined in a blink of an eye
The minute he slammed out that door
it shook the wall, the wedding picture sliding to the floor
Just the way her heart had
He said he was leaving
he'd never be back.
Divorcing her mom, leaving her sad.
She ran to her room, full of hatred and sorrow
She pushed all the pictures of him and her to the floor
Cried a thousand tears, she just couldn't believe
It had to be a bad joke, he'd be home tomorrow
He was the guy who was supposed to never hurt her
She thinks as she drifts slowly to sleep
Right before everything goes dark,

Just A Child

I had so many dreams
That I thought would come true
Until that one fateful day when I met you
You swept me off my feet
Acted like you were my prince charming
But then that one fateful day
When we went to far
And all my hopes and dreams went a far
Once you had found out
About the secret inside of me
You went away
You wouldn't talk to me or return my calls
You just left my life
Its been a few months since those days
And now I can't even show my face
This secret I'm carrying
Is starting to show
Because I let you in my life way to far
You wanted me to get rid of it
But it is a something
So I couldn't do it
It is a something that I will love
And if one day you want to see her
I will let you for a little while
But I wont let you ruin her life too
She's just a child
My hopes and my dreams
May now be gone,
And life may be tough
But I will not let you in
To ruin things again
She is my child
My love and my dreams
 

Life Without You

I feel the cool rain running down my cheeks,
Mingling with my tears.
You just broke my heart, you said it was over
And then you just ran.

I stand here as still as stone,
Soaking wet in the rain
Crying as there is no end

Wishing I had said something
Maybe even ran after you
But what good would that have done me?
You wouldn't have stopped.
You didn't even look back

Now I'm walking out of that life
And into a new
I cry for the love I lost that day
But I think about the fun we had
And the tears we cried and then I stop crying

The sun comes out
And I find out that
I will be able to live without you.

Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes
But I made a big one.
It happened the day that I met you.
All it took was one smile
And you had me in your arms.

You said you'd never let me go.
I thought, "This is way to good to be true"
And I was right.
Because then one night
We went to a party
Then to my place.

You kissed my lips so tender
I thought for sure that I would melt.
The next thing I can remember
Waking up and you being gone

I call you the next morning,
No one was home.
I left a message on your phone.
You never called back.

Then I was on my way to work
I decided I'd just stop by,
You opened the door,
Stood their a minute,
Then slammed it in my face

I ran back home
With tears streaming down my face
I ran past my mom
Up the stairs
I slammed the door and looked in the mirror
My eyes swollen and red

You called that night, said you were sorry
I said okay but I had to go
A few days later I got sick
I didn't know what to do.

When I was sure of what had happened
I told you the truth
You got mad and called me a whore
Punched me in the stomach.

You jumped in your car and drove away
While I just sat their and cried.
You called that night
Asked if it was true
I said yes and just hung up

But now I can't show my face or anything else
For scared that someone will see
but now that I hold her in my arms
I'm glad you aren't her dad
For if you were..

I know what you'd do
Because you did it to me too
So as I hold this mistake
Which is also a gift
I think of what life will be like now
As me and and my baby slowly drift to sleep

Invisible Til Death

You never thought to ask her
What was going on
Not even when you saw her walking to school
With her head bent down low
And that gruesome bruise blooming
Purple on her cheek

You didn't even wonder
Why she always covered her body
And never let anything show
You never even thought about it until the day
That everything changed for that girl

Now on this wet and cloudy day
You stand over where she now rests
And Slowly read what her tombstone says,
"To the girl that no one cared enough about to ask what was wrong and if she needed help."

You start to cry,
Knowing that you should have asked
Or even told somebody
Even if you didn't know her.
You could have helped save her life.

But you can't change anything now
But you swear that the next time
You see someone like her that you'll help
So then you slowly place the lily
Where she now rests
You turn around and walk away slowly
On this wet and cloudy day.